MS-HRC-SB-4-2-2

[0157] suit of happiness.[0158] Unattainable laxation.[0163] Shadow of
the magnum opus.[0164] Closing with - (brief laugh) - a yelp
to Providence.[0165] (Prolonged laugh in which A joins.)[0166] What
remains of all that misery?[0167] A girl in a shabby green coat,
on a railway-station platform?
[0169] Pause.

[0170] When I look -[0171] (A switches off machine, broods, looks at
watch, gets up and goes backstage into darkness. [0172] Ten
seconds. [0173] Pop of cork. [0174] Ten seconds. [0175] Second cork. [0176] Ten seconds.
[0177] Third cork. [0178] Ten seconds. [⁁] [0179] ^{Brief rau burst of raucous song.[⁁]}[0183] He comes back into light front
right, sits down, switches on machine, resumes his pose.)

[0184] - back on ^over the year that is gone, with what I hope are [/] ^perhaps the
old eyes to come, there is of course the house on the canal
where mother lay a-dying, in the early autumn, after her
long viduity (A gives a start), and the - (A switches off
machine, gets up, goes backstage into darkness and comes
same way with a dictionary (A givesa start), and the -
[0185] (A switches off machine, wind backs tape a little winds
back tape a little, bends his ear closer to machine)

[0186] -
a-dying, in the early autumn, after her long viduity, and
the -[←] [0187] ^{A. -} (A switches off machine, turns face front. [0187|001] Puzzled.)
[0188] Viduity?[0189] (Pause. [0190] He gets up, goes backstage into darkness,
comes back with a large dictionary volume of the Concise
Oxford ^{or Johnson's dictionary and quotes example}, lays it on the table, sits down, looks up viduity,
[0191] ^xeadsreads, nods, [0206] closes dictionary, switches on machine, re-
sumes his pose.)[0207] ^{Tape. -} - ba^ench by the weir from where I d^could
see her window.[0208] There I sat, da wishing she were gone.

[0210] Quite a number of people I got to know then, oh I mean by
appea^rance, nursemaids, children, i^old men, dogs.[0211] One dark
young beauty I recall ^recollect particularly, ^{all white and starch, splendid bosom,[⁁]} with a big black hooded
pram.[0212] Whenever I looked in her direction she had her eyes
on me.[0213] But when I was foolish enough to speak to her she
threatened to call a policeman.[0217] The face she had![0218] Eyes[0219] like
...moonstones.

[0223] 8 ^I was there when - (A switches off, broods,
switches on again) - the blind went down, one of those
dirty brown roller affairs, throwing a ball for a dog as
it happened. ^{chance wd. have it.}[0224] I happened to ^happened look^ed up and there it was.[0225] Over
at last.[0226] I sat ^on for a moment or two ^{few moments} with the ball in my hand
hand and the dog ba^rking and pawing at me.[0227] (Pause.)

[0228] Moments
Moments.[0228|001] (Pause.)[0229] Her moments. My moments.[0230] (Pause.) [⁁][0231] ^{The dog's moments.}[0232] ^{(Pause.)[⁁]}[0233] In the
end I held it out to him and he took it in his mouth, gently
gently.[0234] An old tennis ball, black and sodden, but unpunct-
ured.[0235] (Pause.)[0236] I wonder will that mean something some day.
[0241] [←]^Pause.
[0242] ^{Bowels better on the whole.}
[0243] Pause.

[0244] Intellectually a year of profound gloom and indigence until
that memorable night in March, at the end of the pier, in
the howling wind, never to be forgotten, when suddenly I
saw the whole thing.[0245] The turning-point, at last.This I
imagine is what I hac^ve chiefly to set down this evening,
against the day when my work will be done and perhaps no

[0246] This I
imagine is what I hac^ve chiefly to set down this evening,
against the day when my work will be done and perhaps no