MS-HRC-SB-4-2-5

[0301] muckball, all the light and dark and famine and feasting
of...(hesitates) of...(hesitates)...the ages![0302] -⁽In a shout.)
[0303] Yes![0304] (Pause.)[0305] Let that go![0306] Jesus![0307] Take his mind off his
homework![0308] Jesus![0309] (Pause. [0310] Weary.)[0311] Ah well, maybe he was
right.[0312] (Pause.)[0313] Maybe he was right.[0314] (Broods. [0315] Realizes.

[0316] Switches off. [0317] Consults envelope.)[0318] Pah![0319] (Crumples it and
throws it away. [0320] Broods. [0321] Switches on.)[0322] Nothing to say, not
a squeak.[0323] What's a year now?[0324] The sour cud and the iron
stool.[0325] (Pause.)[0326] Revelled in the word spool.[0327] (With relish.)
[0328] Spooool![0329] Happiest moment of the past half million.[0330] (Pause.)
[0331] Seventeen copies sold, of which eleven at trade price to
free circulating libraries bet^yond the seas.[0332] Getting known.

[0333] (Pause.)[0334] One pound six and something, eight I have little
doubt.[0335] (Pause.)[0336] Crawled out once or twice, before the
summer was cold.[0337] Sat shivering in the park, drowned in
dreams and burning to be gone.[0338] Not a soul.[0339] (Pause.)[0340] Last
fancies.[0341] (Vehemently.)[0342] Keep 'em under![0343] (Pause.)[0344] Scalded
the eyes out of me reading Effie again, a page a day, with
tears again.[0345] Effie...[0346] (Pause.)[0347] Could have been happy with
her, up there on the Baltic, and the pines, and the dunes.

[0348] (Pause.)[0349] Could I?[0350] (Pause.)[0351] And she?[0352] (Pause.)[0353] Pah![0354] (Pause.)
[0355] Fanny came in a couple of times.[0356] Bony old ghost of a whore.
[0357] Couldn't do much, but I suppose better than a kick in the
crutch.[0358] The last time wasn't so bad.[0359] How do you manage it,
she said, said, at your age?[0360] I told her I'd been saving
up for her all my life.[0361] (Pause.)[0362] Went to Vespers once, like
when I was in short trousers.[0363] (Pause. [0364] Sings.)

[0365] Now the day is over,
Night is drawing nigh-igh,
Shadows - (coughing, then almost inaudible)-of the
evening
Steal across the sky.

[0366] (Gasping.)[0367] Went to sleep and fell off the pew.[0368] (Pause.)
[0369] Sometimes wondered in the night if a last effort mightn't -
[0370] (Pause.)[0371] Ah empty your noggin now and get to your bed.

[0372] Finish this drivel in the morning.[0373] Or leave it at that.
[0374] (Pause.)[0375] Leave it at that.[0376] (Pause.)[0377] Lie propped up in the
dark - and wander.[0378] Be again in the dingle on a Christmaz^s
Eve, gathering holly, the red-berried.[0379] (Pause.)[0380] Be again
on Croghan on a Sunday morning, in the haze, with the bitch,
stop and listen to the bells.[0381] (Pause.)[0382] And so on.[0383] (Pause.)
[0384] Be again, be again.[0385] (Pause.)[0386] All that old misery.[0387] (Pause.)
[0388] Once wasn't enough for you.[0389] (Pause.)[0390] Lie down across her.

[0391] Long pause. [0392] He suddenly bends over machine, switches off,
wrenches off tape, throws it away, puts on the other, winds
it forward tot the passhe ^passage he wants, switches on, listens
staring front.
[0393] - gooseberries, she said.[0394] I said again I thought it was
hopeless and no good going on, and she agreed, without
opening her eyes.[0395] (Pause.)I asked her to look at me and

[0396] I asked her to look at me and