Samuel Beckett
Digital Manuscript Project
Stirrings Still / Soubresauts

MS-UoR-2859

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Segment 1

[0001] One night as he sat at ghis table head on hands he saw himself rise and go.
[0002] One night or day.[0003] For when his own light went out he was not left in the dark.
[0004] Light of a kind came then from the one hight window.[0005] Under it still the stool
on which till he could or would no more he used to mount to see the sky.
[0006] Why
he did not crane out to see what lay beneath was perhaps because the window was
not made to open or because he could or would not open it.

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Segment 2

[0007] Perhaps he knew only
too well what lay beneath and did not wish to see it again.
[0008] So he would simply
stand there high above the earth and see through the clouded pane the cloudless
sky.
[0009] Its faint unchanging light unlike any light he could remember from the days
and nights when day followed hard on night and night on day.
[0010] This outer light
then when his own went out became his only light till it in its turn went out and
left him in the dark.
[0011] Till int in its turn went out.

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Segment 3

[0012] One night or day then as he sat at his table head on hands he saw himself rise
and go.
[0013] First rise and stand clinging to the table.[0014] Then sit again.[0015] Then rise
again and stand clinging to the table again.
[0016] Then go.[0017] Start to go.[0018] On unseen feet
start to go.
[0019] So slow that only cghange of place to show he went.[0020] As when he disappeare
only to reappear later at another place.
[0021] Then disappeared again only to reappear
again later at another place again.

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Segment 4

[0022] So again and again disappeared again only to reappear
again later at another place again.
[0023] Another place in the place where he sat at his
table head on hands.
[0024] The same place and table as when Darly for example died and left him.[0025] As
when others too in their turn before and since.
[0026] As when others would too in their
turn and leave him till he too in his turn.
[0027] Head on hands half hoping when he dis-
appeared again that he would not reappear again and half fearing that he would not.
[0028] Or merely wondering.[0029] Or merely waiting.[0030] Waiting to see if he would or would not.
[0031] Leave him or not alone again waiting for nothing again.

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Segment 5

[0032] Seen always from behind whithersoever he went.[0033] Same hat and coat as of old when he
walked the roads.
[0034] The back roads.[0035] Now as one in a strange place seeking the way out.
[0036] In the dark.[0037] In a strange place blindly in the dark of night or day seeking the way
out.
[0038] A way out.[0039] To the roads.[0040] The back roads.

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Segment 6

[0041] A clock afar struck the hours and half-hours.[0042] The same as when among others Darly
once died and left him.
[0043] Strokes now clear as if ecarried by a wind now faint on the
still air.
[0044] Cries afar now faint now clear.[0045] Head on hands half hoping when the hour
struck that the half-hour would not and half fearing that it would not.
[0046] Similarly
when the half-hour struck.
[0047] Similarly when the cries a moment ceased.[0048] Or merely
wondering.
[0049] Or merely waiting.[0050] Waiting to hear.

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Segment 7

[0051] There had been a time he would sometimes lift his head enough to see his hands.
[0052] What of them was to be seen.[0053] One laid on the table and the other on the one.[0054] At frest
after all they did.
[0055] Lift his past head a moment to see his past hands.[0056] Then lay it
back on them to rest it too.
[0057] After all it did.

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Segment 8

[0058] The same place as when left day after day for the roads.[0059] The back roads.[0060] Returned
to night after night.
[0061] Paced from wall to wall in the dark.[0062] The then fleeting dark of
night.
[0063] Now as if strange to him seen to rise and go.[0064] Disappear and reappear at anothe
place.
[0065] Disappear again and reappear again at another place again.[0066] Or at the same.

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Segment 9

[0067] Nothing to show not the same.[0068] No wall toward which or from.[0069] No table back toward whic
or further from.
[0070] In the same place as when paced from wall to wall all places as the
same.
[0071] Or in another.[0072] Nothing to show not another.[0073] Where never.[0074] Rise and go in the same
place as ever.
[0075] Disappear and reappear in another where never.[0076] Nothing to s ' show
not another where never.
[0077] Nothing but the strokes.[0078] The cries.[0079] The same as ever.

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Addition 1
later
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Addition 2
for example
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Date 1
For Barney Rosset
July 1986
Transcription
  • Segments
  • Marginal Additions
  • Dates