MS-UoR-2935-3-11

[0001] One night as he sat at his table head on hands he saw himself rise and go.
[0002] One night or day.[0003] For when his own light went out he was not left in the dark.
[0004] Light of a kind came then from the one window set high in the wall.[0005] Under it
still the stool on which until he could or would no more he used to mount
simply to see the sky.[0006] Why he did not crane out to see what lay beneath was
perhaps because the window was not made to open or because he could or would
not open it.

[0007] Perhaps he knew only too well what lay beneath and did not wish
to see it again.[0008] So he would simply stand there high above the earth on the
stool with his hands flat against the wall and see through the clouded pane the
cloudless sky.[0009] Its faint unchanging light unlike any light he could remember
from the days and nights when day followed fast on night and night on day.[0010] This
outer light then when his own went out became his only light until it in its
turn went out and left him in the dark. ^gloom.[0011] ^{The gloom of day and night and night & day.} Till Until it in its turn went out.

[0012] One night or day then as he sat at his table head on hands he saw himself rise
and go.[0013] First rise and stand clinging to the table.[0014] Then sit again.[0015] Then rise
again and stand clinging to the table again.[0016] Then start to go.[0018] On unseen feet to
go.[0019] So slow that only change of place to show he went.[0020] As when he disappeared only
to reappear later at another place.[0021] Then disappeared again only to reappear again
later at another place again.[0022] So again and again disappeared again only to reappear
again later at another place again.

[0023] Another place in the place where he sat at his
table head on hands.[0024] The same place and table as when Darly for example died and
left him.[0025] As when others too in their turn before and since.[0026] As when others would
too in their turn and leave him until he too in his turn.[0027] Head on hands half hopieng
hoping when he disappeared that he would not reappear again and half fearing that
he would not.[0028] Or merely wondering.[0029] Or merely waiting.[0030] Waiting to see if he would
or would not.[0031] Leave him or not alone again wiaiting for nothing again.

[0032] Seen always from behind whithersoever he went .[0032] Whitherwardsoever.[0033] Same hat and
coat as of old when he walked thebroads.[0034] The back roads.[0035] And now as one in a strange
place seeking the way out.[0036] In the dark ^gloom.[0037] In a strange place blindly in the dark ^gloom of
night or day seeking the way out.[0038] A way out . [0039] To the roads.[0040] The back roads.

[0041] A clock afar struck the hours and half hours.[0042] The same as when among others Darly
p^once died and left him.[0043] Strokes now clear as if carried by the wind and now faint on
the still air.[0044] Cries afar now faint now clear.[0045] Head on hands half hoping when the
hour struck that the half hour wouldn not and half fearing that it would not.[0046] Similar-
ly when the half hour struck.[0047] Similarly when the cries a moment ceased.[0048] Or merely
wondering.[0049] Or merely waiting.[0050] Waiting to hear.

[0051] There had been a time he would lift his head enoggh enough to see his hands.[0052] What
of them was to be seen.[0053] One laid on the o^table and the other on it.[0054] At rest after all
they did.[0055] Lift his past head a moment to see his past hands.[0056] Then lay it back on them
to rest it too.[0057] After all it did.

[0058] The same place as when left day after day for the roads.[0059] The back roads.[0060] Returned
to night after night.[0061] Paced from wall to wall in the dark.[0062] The fleeting dark of
night.[0063] Now as if strange to him seen to rise and go.[0064] Disappear and reappear at
another place.[0065] Disappear again and reappear again at another place again.[0066] Or at the
same.[0067] Nothing to show no^t the same.[0068] No wall toward which or from.

[0069] No table back toward
which or further from.[0070] In the same place as when paced from wall to wall all places
as the same.[0071] Or in another.[0072] Nothing to show not another.[0073] Where never.[0074] Rise and go in th
the same place as ever.[0075] Disappear and reappear in another where never.[0076] Nothing to
show not another where never.[0077] Nothing but the clock.[0078] The cries.[0079] The same as ever.

[0080] Till so many strokes and cries since he was last seen that perhaps he would not be
seen again.[0081] Then so many cries since the clock was last heard that perhaps it would
not be heard again.[0082] Then such silence since the cries were last heard that perhaps
even they would not be heard again.